Who do I think I am?

*Go’s to check when last posted on her blog. Gasps in mock horror at her abstinence from her blog* Hey there! It’s been a little bit of time hasn’t it! My sincere apologies mon amie. I have been a bad blogger and not graced you with any update for a few weeks now.

I will be honest with you and confess I’ve just not had any inspiration on what to write. I mean I have opinions on things but perhaps not on anything that might interest anyone!

Other than changing job roles, having a weeks annual leave, going out and about, seeing Dave Gorman on stage and having a stinking cold, I have been lying low. Watching too much Netflix (binge watched the whole series of Insatiable) and digging out my jumpers for this seasonal weather.

Anyway I was thinking of a topic for this post and I thought I would do one about my personality. Now I class myself as the girl next door, average, mediocre, plane Jane if you will. But I do have a child like persona at times.

To explain what I’m getting at…

Teddies (yes I snuggle up to one or two at night)

Anything fluffy (jumpers, blankets, animals- I will want to touch it)

My dinners tend to be replications of what I had as a child (spaghetti hoops, fish fingers, chips, mash potato)

I don’t like drinking alcohol or smoking

I like to go to bed at a reasonable time and get my beauties sleep

I’m a homebird and prefer to take the odd day out rather than spread my wings and see the world

I’m married but despite being 34 (yes I know I look about 24!) I have no house of my own, car or children

I still love watching cartoons, comedies and other lighthearted programmes

I can’t stand nights out clubbing- give me my pj’s and Netflix any day

I tend to be unassertive  and not stand up for myself when I need too

I lose myself in Rom Com books and love getting absorbed in a great love story

I still play old computer games from my childhood like Zelda and Mario Bros

I’m pretty useless at stressful situations where I either get too anxious, angry or upset- I feel overwhelmed too easily at times

I like to watch Youtube videos regressing to my childhood, like old toys, fav bands or TV shows

Not a great cook- I’m too lazy to cook, when I can buy a meal that just needs heating up

I have no savings (though I have no debt either)

I’ve never been on a wild weekend away with my girlfriends or had raucous weekends

I love cute homeware 

I don’t like London- it’s too big and full on for my liking- kinda intimidates me

I’m a bit of a geek and enjoy local history, watching plane landings on Youtube (as long as it’s a safe landing- even though I have a fear of flying), enjoy the logistics of how items are made (more Youtube videos) and watch too many cat videos

I so look up to those who have their shit together, look polished, have great jobs and are go getting. Living like an actual ADULT! Because I’m not one of those people that’s for sure. 

Getting all Freudian (not that I like his practices) it could stem from being overly protected by my mum and my sister growing up, sort of trying to shield me from danger (though no-one could shield me enough from being bullied), having my confidence stunted by being bullied and wanting to protect myself from the situations I can’t handle (like many others can). I like to think I’m not too unusual with my attitude to life, of wanting to hide away from stressors. Yes I do hold myself back from living a more fulfilled life, that I’ve been self aware of for years. Do I wish I was more able to do things that scare me and be more of a ‘grown up?’. Well, no, as I wouldn’t be me.

Saying all that about myself, I am comfortable with how I am. It’s just I feel I’m the only one who acts like I do with my creature comforts, as everyone else around me on on social media is so good at portraying they are so much more confident and together than I am. I quite often feel like a small baby shark in a sea of daddy and mummy sharks and I wonder if I ever will get to where they are even at my age.

I don’t know if this post has made any sense or is relatable in any way! Apologies it’s no Primark/Beauty/Holiday review as is the norm for blogs but more of a personal insight into what makes me me.

I’d love to know if you can relate in anyway? Pop a comment below!

Until next time,

Abbie xxx

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