19 Mar 2017

How to...be ok with being introverted

Hello and welcome to the 7th Ab Fab Collab!

This month Abbey at www.abbeylouisarose.blogspot.co.uk invited me to join her in doing a 'How To' post to promote how to be an all round good person. As we like to spread positivity with our collabs :)
I decided to share about how to be introverted and be ok with it. Blogging is such a great tool for me as it allows me to connect with people within the perimeters that I feel comfortable with.
As you'll read I'm no social butterfly...

Thinking and day dreaming



I do tend to think a lot and over analyse and worry about things. This in itself I know builds up a situation to be bigger in my mind which never helps.
Rather than be on the flip side and be all bubbly and gregarious, I tend to withdraw into myself if I am stressed or worried or feeling low. My mind will wonder off and I become quite and not motivated to make conversation.
Though all this thinking has it's plus sides. I used to day dream a lot when I was younger. Didn't realise I don't do it as much any more which is sad.
I used to day dream about meeting my favourite pop bands and the adventures we would have and earlier than that I would dream of being a princess. Shame being an adult kind of puts a reality check in your mind.
Though what this day dreaming did was give me somewhere internally I could escape to which would be fun to do. I love imagining scenarios and best of all writing stories where I could let my imagination take over.
This internalisation has been a great aid in writing stories when I was growing up which was a great past time for me. I haven't taken a stab at a story for quiet some time now, so perhaps it's about time I put my introvertedness to good use!



Making plans but then cancelling

This is something I do. Esp if it's something outside of my comfort zone. I tend to be my own worst enemy, making myself anxious before hand, then get to the point where I've talked myself out of said plan.
Case in point; my sister and a couple of her good friends have booked to visit Paris for a weekend in April for a belated birthday present for my sister. I initially said I would go, then I thought about it and thought about it and decided that with my travel anxieties that I wouldn't be able to go.
The rational part of me thinks, no, I know will be missing out on seeing Paris and getting to experience it first hand, but the irrational part of me wins out and makes me feel like it would be an experience my anxieties will love and I wouldn't.
But at the age of 32 years old, this is something I have realised is me, it's the way I am and I hope that those around me accept me for my flaws.
I do try to not to let my anxieties win all the time. For example I did have some nervousness of going to London recently, but on this occasion I pushed myself to go and tried to focus on the positives of going. It's a battle at times but I try not to let my introvertedness make me become a hermit.



Preferring to stay in of an evening than go wild on the tiles

You won't catch me of an evening drinking and partying all night. Where you will find me is at home, either on the sofa or in bed, surfing the net or watching Netflix.
I've never been one to visit nightclubs. That phase that teenagers/twenty somethings go through I never had. No coming home drunk or staying out late (apart from the one time when I was 17).
Always back home at a reasonable time, pj's and a book waiting for me.
I never understood why teenagers would hang around parks or bus stops in the dark. I much preferred being in the comfort of my bedroom where it was warm, with my pop magazines and tv for company.
Perhaps I was lucky I had a home life I didn't need to escape from.
Either way I've always been a home bird, preferring my home comforts than a raucous night on the tiles.
But this does mean I get to watch some of my favourite tv and Netflix shows and spend time with husband. I don't mind going out for a meal for an evening but I like to be home to get my beauty sleep. And if this is like you then hello, welcome to my world!


A good book is a must


I feel I'm missing something if I haven't a book, normally a romance fiction on the go. Something I can get into, a sense of escapism I suppose. I like to follow the journey of a character and have it as something to look forward to of a quiet evening or bedtime.
I don't like to read anything dark or heavy, like the fact I don't like horror films. My mind is anxious as it is, don't need a film or book to aid it!


Not being the life and soul of a party

I'm normally a wall flower in any social gathering. If it's people I know well then I can generally be able to hold a conversation no probs. But include more people and those of more confidence and I slink into the back ground.
I tend to get self conscious and not know what on earth to say to sound interesting so I tend to observe instead. I might jump in if someone says something I can relate to but otherwise I let others do the talking.
Obviously if I've had a bit to drink (which isn't often) then I will come out of my shell and start waffling on about who know's what but that isn't often as I don't like having a hang over and I'm such a light weight!

I'm sure there is more I could cover about being inwardly thinking but these 5 topics are the ones that come to mind.
It's ok to not be out there and acting confident. When I was younger I would feel a need to be a certain way and would try to be something I wasn't. This wouldn't last for long and I would go back to being shy and retiring.
And that's OK! Be yourself, don't try and act like someone you're not. If you're out going then that's awesome, but it's equally awesome to want to have time to yourself and not externalise all your thoughts and behaviours

As you get older I think you become more accepting of who you are. You soon realise that you're you and life's too short to waste being an untrue version of yourself.

I hope you enjoyed this rather deep and honest post! I'd love to hear from other 'introverted' people! Leave a comment and let yourself be known!

Remember to check out Abbey's collab post here!

Love and hugs,




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14 comments

  1. I relate to so so much of this post! Before I started my masters degree, I was determined that I'd be a social butterfly, going to all the parties and getting involved with all the events that my uni puts on.. However, because I am naturally quite introverted and somewhat uncomfortable in social situations, that just didn't happen! I ended up with a smaller group of really lovely friends, but I was so disappointed in myself for not being more outgoing! Then I realised that it is ok to be myself, and that I needn't set expectations for myself, it's ok to be introverted and not to like going out and partying! Like you, I'd much rather stay in with a book! Thank you so much for this post full of self acceptance, it's so badly needed!

    Abbey ✨ www.abbeylouisarose.co.uk

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    1. Thanks Abbey. I used to think that being introverted was not the sort of person people wanted to know about. I used to think I'd come across as boring. But I've seen the likes of Zoella share how she shy's away from the lime light and prefer to stay at home and seen how popular she has become with these traits.
      I think when you're younger it is expected to be outgoing and being socialable but I much prefer being around more sedate and calmer people.
      Hopefully those around you accept you for who you are and they are the people you want around you. As you get older you'll cherise those who accept you for exactly who you are.
      #BeYourself :)

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  2. Małgosia Jodłowska19 March 2017 at 09:23

    This post is about me! Maybe except traveling, I like to go and visit different places from time to time. But I am not a social animal, and an evening with a good book at home , maybe writing a story,is the best possible option for me. Thank you so much for sharing, Abbie! It is comforting to know there is more of us introverts in the world! And it is ok to be one. Sending you big hugs. Małgosia

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    1. Hi Malgosia. Thanks for reading and it is reassuring to know there are others out there who are much like me. I'm looking for the quiet life (though making it more fun with my blog). Hope all is well and big hugs back to you :) x

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  3. Oh Abbey, it feels like you wrote about me. I still day dream - mostly on the bus or when I listen the music. When I was young I partied pretty much a lot, but now? If I am not home before 8-9, I'm so depressed and not feeling ok with that. I have a big anxiety to be in a big group of people so I just stay home, "talk" with you guys on the internet and I'm just happy. Most of the people don't understand that, but I've learnt to ignore that.
    Perfect article, I love it.

    Michelle Morchella

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    1. Hi Michelle. Thanks so much for your kind words. I'm pleased that it has been well received. It makes me feel better knowing that I'm not on my own being this way. I love chatting on the internet as it allows me to connect with others without having to go out! Though through my wanting to stay in I don't see people as much as I should! I can't have it all ;) Thanks again for your comment :)

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  4. Oh wow Abbie I could have written so much of this myself. Let me respond:

    Daydreaming - Like you I used to do it all of the time but now anxiety takes the fun away from me.
    Cancelling plans - I don't make enough plans to cancel to be honest.
    Staying in - oh yes, everytime.
    A good book - there is not a day of my life that does not feature a book!
    Not being the life and soul of a party - hey, I show up, have a drink and a chat, that's enough. I have being home late (ie after 10).

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    1. Hi Llinos. Thanks for reading. When I write a post I think i'm just writing to myself to when others say they feel the same it makes me so :). Makes me reassured i'm not alone in being a more solo based person. I haven't many friends IRL due to preferring to retreat to my flat so chatting to others online does wonders for me :)

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  5. I know how it feels being an introvert. I am one. It gets hard to really get out and network being of the introverted nature and you sometimes feel like you should be more out going. But, really I am ok with being introverted. It is ok and perfectly acceptable.

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    1. Hi Stephanie, totally is Ay OK to be someone who prefers to shun the limelight than bask in it. That's why I like writing my blog. I can type away to my hearts content all in the comfort of my own home. I've tried doing youtube but it's not for me. I'm better behind the scenes! Thanks for reading, means a lot to me :)

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  6. So amazing! My favourite quote of all time is "Compassion over Comparison", and I really think this is so relevent for this topic. It's such a shame that many introverted individuals feel as though this is a negative trait. My partner is very introverted and we balance so well as a team, no one should ever feel as though they should have to change for anyone else! X

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    1. Thanks Kate 😊You're right on the money, no one should change for anyone. Glad to hear you and your partner sound like you have it sorted! Thanks for reading x

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  7. I used to cancel plans all the time, now I'm not even ashamed to tell people I don't want to go out in the evenings (I'm better at day things!) xx
    Holly ∣ Closingwinter

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    1. Hi Holly, I'm the same, I try not to commit to anything I think I won't follow through to avoid disappointing anyone. I prefer doing things in the day so I know I have the evening to chill :) xx

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