29 May 2016

I married a man with no emotion | Dating someone with Aspergers

You may or may not of seen an article in the Sunday Mirror lifestyle magazine, Notebook on Sunday 29th May. The article was titled 'I married a man with no emotion' and is written with the aid of a PR company called Booked PR and myself for the supplement.

How this came about was Dan as been using Booked PR to promote his books, especially his 'Look into my eyes' book, which is sort of auto biographical/help guide for anyone who has Aspergers.
The PR company liked the idea of revealing the angle of the partner/other halves point of view, as that tends to be the neglected side of someone who has a form of autism.






I was more than happy to oblige and help Dan, by submitting a lot of information about our relationship over the last 15 years. If this helps with Dan's exposure than I'm a willing volunteer.
After reflecting on our past together and revisiting memories over over a decade ago, I answered as honestly as I could to ensure the article would be from the heart and truthful.
Although I didn't write the article, a lot of the wording was taken from my responses to the PR company and structured into the article.



As I have only been in a magazine once before when I was about 15 years old. An long defunct teen magazine called Jump, where myself and my best friend Cassie had a free make over with hair dresser to the stars Errol Douglas. So I was unsure what to expect, especially when it comes to the media, but I am more than happy with the article.

I've had much praise from friends and family and has hopefully made people more aware of Aspergers and how people with the syndrome can life a live just like the rest of us, with some added quirks thrown in!

It has definitely helped Dan talk about himself with more clarity now that he had an official diagnose for Asperger's. Before I would find it tricky trying to word it in a way that made sense. Now I can explain a lot if not all his quirky traits can be linked back to Aspergers, and explain it is a type of high performing autism.

Dan has grown so much over the decade and a half I have know him. He is much more emotional, as the article suggests. Programmes that naturally bring a tear to my eye, now make Dan watery eyed too. To me he is still learning how to respond socially to people, but has become more tactful and diplomatic. Still if he passes you by in a street and doesn't make eye contact or say hello, it's not borne out of rudeness, just his inability to naturally go up to someone and make small talk.

Yes, we have been through some situations where his Aspergers has been a bit testing. For example Dan is very black and white in his thinking. Either you're in or you're out. You're not sitting in the middle undecided. He likes things going to plan and doesn't like a change of routine as this throws him out of sync. Neither can he stand it in bustling environments, London is a no-no unless absolutely necessary (like visiting a museum or theater show). But then I'm not a fan of the fast life either so we tend to avoid busy places.

All in all Dan is still Dan to me, Asperger's label or not. We laugh together, cuddle together, support each other and work together to make each other happy. There are benefits to being in a relationship with someone who has Aspergers as they have high levels of patience (well maybe not shopping itself, but with waiting around when I shop!), are drawn to the fine details ie, can make Dan be romantic and remember things I like to surprise me (for example he brought me the lastest book by my favourite author today) and is very logical and problem solving which helps me when I have things on my mind and need some guidance.


I hope this had been a nice follow on from the article. It's nice to add my reflections, 100% in my own words.

Lot's of love,






P.S. Find out more about Dan at www.danjoneshypnosis.com. Dan also has a youtube channel and books for sale on Amazon which you can find via his above website.
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